Peeps - The Finale (by: Marty Coleman)

I just couldn't imagine the thought of her little hands wrapped around my
snacks.

"What's the matter?" he asked.  I've just never thought of a midget in this way.

"She's not gonna wait forever!" he bellowed.

I finally decided to tell him, "Listen, man...  I never thought I'd say
this...  but I just can't.  I mean, all of the defective women you've brought
me in the past have been wonderful...  but this is one thing I can not do!"
I blushed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" he complained.

I began to wonder what Ed Zachary would do in a situation like this.  I mean, Ed Zachary used to just split girls in half...  and he'd never get caught!  But would Ed Zachary even stoop to this level?  I bolted out the door, screaming something about "chicken" or something like that...  I don't even remember.  The midget follows me to this day.  I now know that it's not just a burnt out bulb on the car behind me...  It's a midget!


The End

Peeps - Part III (by: Marty Coleman)

Was it following me the other night or did the little sports car behind me
just have a burnt out bulb?  I began to get really paranoid.  I remembered how
many times I saw a car with just three bulbs following me.  You know: the two
regular headlights, and then sometimes those two little lights below them.
 Were they just burnt out bulbs, or a midget strapped under the car with a
flashlight in one hand and a tennis ball in the other?
"Let 'er rip!" said Charlie.  I nearly fainted.

Stay tuned for Peeps, The Finale

Peeps - Part II (by: Marty Coleman)

I used to go to public restrooms, just so I could stand at the urinal and stare at people as they walked by me.  I always wondered how they felt...  you know, with my head turning almost all the way around...  just staring...  following...
 
But this was out of control!  I've never been put in a situation like this before.  I was beginning to understand phobias and started thinking about the story of the dancing priest.  "Only me," I thought.  It was at this point that it moved.  I mean, should I even call it an "it?"  I could barely restrain myself from imagining her strapped under a sports car with a flashlight in one hand and a tennis ball in the other.

Stay tuned for Part III...

Peeps - Part I (by: Marty Coleman)

"Voluptuous, Charlie!"  I couldn't admit it.  "Let's have a go at her!"  This wasn't like the other times.  "Ya' nervous?" he asked.  "Ha-ha-ha!"  I started to sweat.  I mean, don't they have a mind of their own?  Are they indestructible?  And what's with the tennis ball?  I was afraid to ask.  He continued, "Ya' know, every time you're over here, I know it's gonna be a hoot!"  I hooted.  Maybe it was a nervous reaction.  Maybe I really meant it.  Maybe I'm descended from a race of owls who slowly evolved into mankind.  I mean, should I really think that it's coincidence that I can turn my head almost all the way around?

Stay tuned for Part II...